I just read my opening ‘story’ again. So many emotions came flooding back as I relived everything.
Re-reading what my father had said to me was, I think, the hardest. My mom tries when she remembers although it isn’t often that she remembers. My father has made it a habit to not call me anything. He will get my attention without calling me any name. I guess it’s better than using my dead name (birth name). Maybe in time, after all, I’ve only been ‘out’ for 1 1/2 years.
Two days ago, the 16th, was my one year anniversary of being on testosterone. I didn’t tell anyone because I think that no one else would share my enthusiasm. There have been a couple of changes since starting T that have made me so excited. My voice has grown a little deeper, I now have more leg and arm hair, belly hair, some chest hair, and (sorry family…if you don’t want to know about genitals then skip to the next paragraph) some clitoral growth. I now understand morning wood when trying to pee because I have to scoot way back on the toilet so that it doesn’t over shoot and go under the toilet seat and down onto the floor.
Talked to my breast cancer doctor and she had said that the plastic surgeon had put in my file that he wouldn’t even consider chest reconstruction until I had been smoke free for at least 30 days. Tomorrow makes 21 days smoke free!! The doctor that prescribes my testosterone went the plastics doctor an email requesting that he see me again. I want this so very badly. I have wanted to get rid of these fat deposits ever since I was old enough to realize that I would get them. I realize that I will have to take more time off of work and I am not looking forward to that at all. In fact, I am quite stressed out about the lack of paycheck. Then again, it’s not as if my new boss is giving me much of anything (last pay period I got 5.5 hours for two weeks and this pay period I was only scheduled for 11 hours although I picked up 3 hours at another store).
Anyway, I should get back to my homework considering I said I was going to start it almost 2 hours ago….oops.
Hope you all are having a super, great, wonderful day!