I shouldn’t be crying on my birthday

After getting reprimanded by my kid for smoking I went to my room. The youngest one sent me a snap chat saying that the oldest didn’t feel needed and was going to leave if I didn’t come out so I did. What a waste of time that was. No one talked to me so I went back to bed. Woke up a little while later and even though I wasn’t hungry I started to heat up some pizza (they had had some a couple hours before I did). I am a stress eater badly. That’s probably why I’m 5’3″ and weigh almost 200 pounds. Anyway, oldest wanted to take me out for dinner for my birthday. I had to stop for gas and met them at the restaurant where she gave me my birthday presents. A t-shirt, a movie, and a butt load of candy. Keep in mind that while I love candy I am diabetic and it is not under control right now. The youngest said she wasn’t very hungry so I got her something really small. By the time it got to the table she wasn’t hungry and the oldest one started going off about how she was never taking her anywhere again to eat if she wasn’t going to eat one little taco. That angered me because she knew she was going to take us out and yet they ate pizza before hand. I got a ‘free’ Redbox movie for my birthday so I stopped to get that on the way home. After the movie was over I sent the little one off to bed. The oldest one then started to complain about her roommate. They’ve been roommates for exactly one month tomorrow. She then started in on my smoking and why I was smoking in ‘her’ room. I asked if we could not talk about it and she just went off about how it was still her room and that she could’ve gone into more detail about why I shouldn’t be smoking but that she didn’t. We got into it, again, about how it isn’t her room because she moved out. It’s not my fault that most of her shit is still in the room because she doesn’t want to move it. She always comes up with excuses on why she isn’t moving it to her house. I finally just got up and firmly told her to lock the door on her way out (since she refuses to give me the key back to MY house). She then proceeds to yell at me and of course by this time she has me completely pissed off and I am sick and tired of walking on egg shells around her trying to not piss her off as if she is the only person on the planet that matters so I yelled back. I went to my room and slammed the door all the while saying, “happy birthday to me, what a great f***ing birthday this was”. She left and locked the door but could she bother to shut off the lights, no of course not! Why did I even have to wake up today?! Not waking up would’ve been the best birthday present that I could’ve gotten. I f***ing hate my life. Nothing I do is ever good enough for her. If I make a mistake or do something that she doesn’t agree with then I am the bad guy, which is all the time because she’s never happy with anyone. My head hurts so bad that the lights hurt and I cry because of the emotional bullshit then I cry more because it makes my head hurt even more than it was before. Death would come as a relief.

Happy f***king birthday to me, the biggest loser/parent in the whole world!


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