Thursday my mom called me which is somewhat unusual. She said that my father had been having bloody bowel movements and she had taken him to the doctor. While they were at the doctor’s office he passed out and they (the medical team) had to use the paddles to get his heart started again. He was rushed by ambulance to the emergency room where he stayed overnight. They did a procedure and ran a million tests. We are still waiting to find out what all is wrong with him. Last year he had a heart attack and now this. I am not ready for my dad to leave us, don’t know that I ever will be. Who ever wants to lose a parent? My anxiety has gone way up as well as my depression these last few weeks. I am having panic attacks a couple of times a week now. I can’t function like this. I can’t even imagine how my mom is right now. She lost the love of her life for a few minutes and the heartbreak must have been unbearable.